From a conversation with a 76 year old woman

Let's call her Olivia, why don't we? Olivia has only ever attended a full session of my beading workshops once or twice before. She comes by to visit and say hello and ooh and aah over my beads and the creations of the other ladies who actually come to my class. But Olivia? Nah, she doesn't come to my class. Though she regularly declares she wants to...that she means to...that she absolutely will come very soon and I believe she wants to, too, because she loves, LUVS bright, shiny accessories.  Hats, jewelry, brightly-colored clothes. She also kinda' digs me. But she also loves the prizes she wins at the regular poker kino game scheduled around the corner. Always scheduled on the same day as my classes. She used to try to hurry through her game then show up in the end when I was trying to wrap things up, and quick make something, but I had to put a stop to that. Lovingly and respectfully, of course.

So today she came into the room, all happy and enthusiastic as always, bubbling over to show me something. Of course she came the last 20 minutes when I was putting clasps on the last pieces, and only two or three people were left in the room, but as always I got lots of laughs during her visit and so didn't mind the late arrival:

Olivia: Look what I found. You have to see this!
Me: What do you have? (She's opening her bag and pulling out something beaded in black.)
Olivia: This necklace, baby! Lookit that! Ain't it purty?
Me: Wow, that IS pretty! Let me see! (She hands me an elaborately woven beaded necklace collar thingie that's kind of like a choker but is something like 4 inches wide. Or 5, even.)
Me: (Putting the contraption around my neck with real awe.) Wow! Where'd you get this, Olivia?
Olivia: At the Goodwill store! But I need some earrings to go with it!
Me: Girl, this is a hoochie mama necklace!
Olivia: Is that what you think? What'd you call it? A Hoochie Mama one?!
Me: Yea! I bet I'd get a ton of dates if I wore that!
Olivia: Good. Maybe me too! (She laughs long and hard.)
Me: So you came to see if I have any beads to match? 'Cause you want earrings.
Olivia: Yes! Do ya???
Me: I saw somebody using beads like this one (a faceted, pear-shaped bead about 10mm long,) but I think she used all I had.
Olivia: Really? REALLY? (Walked over to the beads and starts picking up little baggies.) Lookie here! (Holds out a bag that has that exact same bead featured in her $3.95 bargain find. Which surprises the heck outta' me 'cause I don't have any recollection of buying the beads in the first place, and was surprised earlier to see 'em in that other necklace.)
Me: Check you out!
Olivia: I sure do wish I had me some earrings to wear with that necklace!
Me: And you came in here to try and con me into making you some before I leave here today. (I've already found the gold-tone headpins to match the clasp, and started pulling a bead out of the bag 'cause I know I'm gonna' make her those earrings, even though she isn't 100% sure her sly trick worked on me, yet.)
Olivia: I sure do wish I had me some earrings.
Me: Well look at this and tell me what you think! (I hold up the one I've just finished.
Olivia: Them's for ears with holes in 'em. I don't have holes. No clip ons?
Me: Ah man...I forgot about your ears! (We've had this conversation before; it's been a while, though.)
Olivia: You can't make 'em with clips?
Me: Got no clips.
Mandy: (Standing nearby, observing the whole exchange.) What are you waitin' for? Why don't you have holes in your ears?!
Olivia: Ooh, no! I seen what happens when that gets infected. Maybe I can put these on some clips like this.
Me: You cannot. That wouldn't look good. You have to either find some clips and I'll remake them for you. Or... you could just get your ears pierced! Like Mandy said: what are you waiting for?
Olivia: Chil' do you know how old I am? (I actually didn't.) I'm 76 years old!
Mandy: I'll do 'em for ya! I did all my children's.
Me: Really! You should get your ears pierced. You know how they say life's too short. And you love to accessorize. Just think how many new designs you could wear if you had holes in your ears!
Olivia: Well, I don't know...
Me: Oh look how pretty these are. Can't you just see 'em with your new necklace? Olivia, what ARE you waiting for? Why DON'T you get your ears pierced?
Olivia: Could wear 'em with my - what'd you call it? Hoochie Mama necklace!
Me: Yes. But don't wear it to church. 'Specially on Easter Sunday!
Olivia: Ooooh, no! I shouldn't do that!

She's gonna' think about it. Tee hee.

Meanwhile, do you get just how much of a sucker I am for these ladies? What a great, grand time we had today...