A friend told me once that if you wake up in the night for more than an hour, you should just get up. She said this as if she had it on "good authority," although I don't know her sources. Tonight it seemed reasonable enough, authoritative sources or not.
So what else would a person do at 2:36am when she can't sleep, but blog about it?!
I have no doubt this is related to Adderall intake which I've somewhat-recently resumed. About which I cringe to admit, half the time I bring it up in conversation, or here in black and white. Imagining, as I do, the question running through your head: "If the side-effects are so unpleasant, why in the world would you do this to yourself?" To which I respond to your made-up-by-my-overactive-imagination inquisitiveness, "You have no idea what it's like not to have it." And leave it at that, for the moment. So now with some increased anxiety, decreased ability to sleep, oft-jittery, jaw-clenching body sensations, dry mouth and a slight increase in the twitch of my eye (which I should point out happens sometimes when I'm not medicated, so perhaps I'm just grasping for those proverbial straws,) I tell you that nonetheless my focus on The Myriad Of Projects With Which I Inundate Myself At All Times is mightily heightened and I'm happy to be concentrating for a while. The alternative is equally nerve-wracking, even if I don't actually feel it in my body, so to speak.
Hm. That's way more than I was gonna' say when I sat down here. So maybe I'll stop writing and go back to bed. Where, no doubt, I can finish sorting out my feelings and thoughts concerning:
- the fact that I'm about to move again,
- how I need to make some hard decisions about this chaotic career of mine (which some people would lump under the heading of, "Grow Up, Already, Melody...")
- personal matters not meant for a blog,
- how many new pieces of jewelry I need to design before the upcoming delivery date to a shop, that is approaching far sooner than I'd quite realized,
- a handful of client requests that have gone un-started,
- which is where I stop myself, because I really would like to try and get a couple of hours of sleep before the alarm sounds at 5:30. When did it happen that I became a person who rises at that ungodly hour?
So this is what 3... Hours... Of... Sleep... feels like.
PS: Those were some Kuu-RAZY dreams I was in the middle of when that alarm went off.