Maybe it's inherent to the ADD Mind. (Maybe it's just me and I'm looking for ways to justify my ongoing indecision.) Of course indecision isn't the right word. I make decisions...bold, exciting ones...every day! And then within days, sometimes even hours, I make an equally exciting, bold decision that completely contradicts the one I've been so keen on before.
Take my career path, for example. Paths. Whatever. Couldn't choose between website development and jewelry designs and so I do both. With some other things thrown in for good measure. Such as designing business cards and writing and editing and teaching. Yesterday, however, I was convinced that it was time to consider packing in the web work and just go back to a "normal" 9 to 5 job. I figured I could continue to make jewelry in my spare time and since I've built a few foundational relationships with galleries and shops, I can continue to pursue others as time permits. That would be a good plan, right? I've been feeling somewhat unsettled, lately, and came to the realization that in part it's because I don't have enough social interaction. Highly social people often don't thrive working at home alone.
I felt good about this thought, and even came up with some exciting ways in which I would persue changing course.
That was yesterday. The earlier part of the day.
And then... By the end of the day, I'd had a call from one of the most delightful women I've ever talked to and learned that she thought my website design skills were exactly what she's looking for. And the business for which she needs this new site is intriguing to me, and the site design will incorporate some highly visually appealing elements. AKA: Pretty Pictures. I like pretty pictures. I like pretty site designs. I like working with creative, interesting people. Especially ones who "get" me. This new client gets me, see.
Suddenly I can't even fathom the idea of not building more creative, interesting websites for like-minded people. I feel as if I've been on a near-miss brush with something akin to death. I feel as if I've stopped myself from making a horrendous mistake!
People, what's UP with me??? I think actually that I can answer this question. It is related to the ADD, in a roundabout way. I get off track, see, at times allowing my lack of focus to get the upper hand. Knowing I need social time with a variety of people, when I'm on track, I schedule frequent artist dates and meetings with other freelancers so I can experience a version of the support that the nine to fivers get in the office on a regular basis. So I haven't kept up with these interactions and, voila, I've been feeling cut off and anxious and as if I'm missing something inexplicable.
I guess one of the perks to being this way, this fickle, fickle way, is that I know this about myself and usually I have enough time to process the really big decisions before I make irreversable changes. So now I'm happily moving back into the groove I set for myself when I stopped doing the office thing. I have plenty of work to keep me busy now, and plenty of people to see to get the social elements fulfilled. Now to just manage the time efficiently and all shall be well.