Last night brought an opportunity for me to meet some new and interesting people, share my beads, and learn a lesson or two in the process. A group of people who participate in the Heartstrings Infant Loss Support Group came together and created memory bracelets for the children they continue to love, long after their losses. I was honored to be there, and touched by the things I heard.
It wasn't a night of sitting around griping about pain. As they created - each designing something unique and quite different from the other - they remembered their babies, spoke their names, talked of their healing processes. One talked of her living children and how they remember the little brothers they lost, and another couple talked of the anticipated arrival of their son, expected in a few short months.
With permission, I'm writing a bit about this time. First, so anyone local who reads my blog will know about this group - we never do know when there will be a need to pass it along. And also because my time with these individuals was a reminder of how easy it is to overlook the deeply personal feelings of others whose experiences have been different from my own. It was a reminder to me that it isn't always best to say those little "helpful" things that come to mind when I'm talking to someone who's had a loss I can't relate to. I won't go on and on - already I find myself faltering to put into words what I was left with after this evening. But it was important. And I plan to keep my lessons close and try to remember always.