More bacn than spam

How 'bout we just skip the pork products altogether, eh?Is your inbox also flooded with more than you can manage? I knew about bacn long before I knew of the term. Those emails for which I myself have willingly - at times enthusiastically - signed up. These are the subscriptions to the newsletters, notifications from the companies who regularly provide us with goods and services...they seem harmless enough at the time. Sure I'd like to know what you've got to offer - if you won't email me too often.

I have a whole email box for these kinds of contacts. Wouldn't dream of using my main email account to subscribe to something. Very rarely give my "real" one out to a business wanting to "just keep in touch, since we might need to contact you on occasion, after all." So I've maintained a box through one of the freebies for so many years now it'd be silly to close or change it - I couldn't begin to imagine who wouldn't be able to reach me if I deleted this account. Particularly, what renewals I need to be aware of, that wouldn't be renewed and how that could wreak havoc on the rhythms of my electronic life.

But I also forget I even have this email account, sometimes. I go days and days without checking it. Which causes trouble, oh yea let me tell you. I've missed important notices from time to time - things I really wanted to know about - because of my failure to check this inbox. Then as soon as I get back into the habit of checking the box, I'll go days and days with nothing of "importance" whatsoever, and soon I just take a leetle break.

This morning I've been on a spontaneous rampage. Went over to check this inbox for the first time in a week and had so much of that Completely Reasonable Mail I Did, After All, Sign Up For With No Arm Twisting Whatsoever, that I'm on the verge of cancelling every single subscription I ever had.

Which means I'm about to have the pleasure of wading through an influx of automatically-generated emails like the one I just received:

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE AS IT HAS BEEN AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED

Hello xxxxx Member,

Thanks for contacting xxxxx. We just wanted to let you know that we received your email and we will get back to you as soon as possible. You'll be hearing from us shortly.

Have a great day!

xxxxx Member Care Team

Thanks all the same but I'm not particularly interested in having you get back to me as soon as possible. In fact, as I indicated in my cancellation request to your company, it's nothing personal, I'd just very much like never ever to hear from your company again. Unless you're notified otherwise. Let's just remember each other fondly and not stay in touch.

Better a brief influx of these auto notes, though - I guess - than continuing to have 743 emails a week I'm never, ever going to read. No matter what I told myself when I signed up to receive them.