Starting tomorrow, I'm going to once again be medicated in order to help calm the Attention Deficit Disorder Monster. At the risk of becoming consumed with the process, I'm going to share some of my experiences with my readers.
Although there are a number of categories in this blog that refer to ADD, the one that's most pertinent to what's on my mind tonight is the one labeled "Side Effects." Entries placed under this heading, (mostly in the earlier part of '05,) dealt specifically with my experiences taking four different medications. (At different times, of course.) Not one was perfect and sometimes the effects were just too tiresome to continue with. Nonetheless, after a year's hiatus, I've elected to return to The Land of the Medicated. In spite of what you might read here as compelling evidence not to do this "to" myself, here I go.
I was about to make a list of the reasons why. Then I realized it can frankly be summed up in a fairly short (for me,) sentence: I wish to once again be able to concentrate on a single task at a time without thoughts of four hundred and sixty three other tasks flooding to the front of my brain. It's really quite simple, actually. So simple, in fact, that I'm going to risk the possible eye twitches, the need to drink a gajillion glasses of water a day (really not a problem at all, if you have a bathroom close by, and I usually can find one without too awful much trouble to myself or anyone else,) the almost mandatory elimination of caffeine from my diet, (I've known this was coming for several weeks now...you'd think I'd have begun weaning myself,) the almost compulsive interest in deciding if this or that oddity is occurring because of the meds... ALL that stuff will once again be my very own. And I embrace it willingly. Enthusiastically, even!
This time around, though, I've decided to try and move about life in a semi-normal pattern, avoiding the inclination to become consumed with the process. No need to Become The Professional ADD Girl again. Did that. Hopefully this time around I can just add a subtle cocktail to my day and get on with it.
For those who are curious about which one Dr. K and I chose, I'll tell you. It's Adderall. But with a different dosage than before.
Wish me luck...