A.D.D. and the self-made career path

This is what I think: Anybody would be crazy to try and attempt multiple simultaneous careers. I don't often think of my own employment in this light, but sometimes it's crystal clear to me that this is what I'm doing. On days when everything seems "hunky dory" I figure I'm just exploring a professional life that includes a lot of variety: jewelry design, web development and online marketing, blogging, e-commerce. Give or take. On days like today, however, I know how completely futile it is to think that a single person can excel at pursuing such equally labor-intensive endeavors.

So I ask myself "Which can you let go?" To which I reply, "Self, you cannot let any of them go. You love them equally. Right down to the milli-component." And my self knows this is an honest answer, all things being equal.

I love the research and study involved in my online pursuits. I've been reading material this morning that makes my head spin with glee. (Yea, okay, I'm a dork.) These writings intrigue me with the possibilities they suggest. The online readers my efforts could garner, the customers I could draw, the potential for expansion through embracing a handful of interrelated concepts. If I were only pursuing a single path - let's say a path of marketing a selection of online projects - I am convinced that each of those projects would be pulling in an exponentially higher readership.

But before that, I awoke this morning realizing that I'd dreamed a new jewelry design. I do that from time to time - it's as if my brain isn't interested in turning off the idea-flow when I sleep, so my dreams play out those ideas for me. When I opened my eyes, I could see the exact necklace as I needed to create it. I knew the pendant, the spacing of the beads, the integration of accent pieces I haven't used in any of my designs before. It was clear to me which kind of metal would best accent the whole, alhough similar designs could easily be achieved using either silver, gold or copper.

Meanwhile, I'm challenged with this e-commerce material I'm working on with a handful of others who see the potential in marketing our products online. We still don't have an online catalog yet, although there are products galore. Because I am the one who is to develop the catalog. And that goal gets lost sometimes, among the other projects to which I've alluded.

There is also a line of greeting cards that repeatedly comes to mind in my day-to-day life. I haven't even written down the concept, which I need to do. Only that such a line of cards does indeed exist. In my head, anyway. I will draw the featured images. And I believe I know what they'll include. Apparently they're drawing themselves in the back of my mind, also while I sleep and sometimes when I don't. I hope they'll be as good "in person" as they seem to be in my imagination. They refuse to go away, see...

It isn't a complaint. In many ways it's a celebration. Just think: what if I'm not crazy (as I decided I must be, this morning,) and instead I actually pull this off? What if I get to a level of success that I can actually contract out some of the more mundane, less compelling parts that must, nonetheless, be handled regularly? Imagine the possibilities! I could continue to be "the idea girl" and my ideas would actually be accomplished.

I'm gonna' have to put my money on that outcome. It seems I don't have a choice. (Or perhaps I'm not giving myself a choice. Whatever.) I am incapable of choosing a single path. Perhaps unwilling. And so those who wait to see what's coming will sometimes have to wait longer for evidence of the successful outcome, no matter which of my projects interests them.

Good thing it's fun for me. Mostly.