Let me tell you 'bout the smoke alarm

...outside my bedroom door. You know that chirp that tells you when the battery has died? Well, apparently the battery has died. Only apparently, too, this particular brand is a higher quality than the ones I've always bought. I went in there a few minutes ago, climbed up on a chair (at the top of the stairs...I know this is dangerous folks, but so is me losing my sanity,) to remove the battery. Aha. Battery out. Walking away. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! I'm not kidding. So unless I Have a quality battery to put in its place it seems I'll still be hearing these notes.

Now here's the problem. This morning I really, really want to be working right here in my little bedroom with my little computer at my little desk. Not putting on presentable clothes, driving down the street and buying a battery. I checked in the fridge. There are a ton of batteries. But not the 9 volt kind. I'm trying to remember where mine are that I packed from the old house. I think I know exactly. And it ain't here. It's at my storage.

Oh hooooo. I have an alarm clock. I don't need no stinkin alarm clock today! Hold up. Back in a minute...

All right people, where'd you put the alarm clock? I guess I have to really go search. IT's ,pt wjere O tjpigjt... or, for literate people, "It's not where I thought it was."

Well, apparently I'm also incapable of installing a simple battery as well. It's gonna' be a long day for me. I'll learn patience and concentration to boot. By the way, if Jan reads this, I do not, in any way, hold you responsible for this. (Women tend to take on everything as if it were their fault. I'm just explaining that she's got enough on her plate.) We're living here together now, and so it's my issue to deal with. Thank you. Just so you know.