Even though I've been aware of my A.D.D. for a long time (even officially for about a year and a half now,) and I've read enough that lets me know that many of the struggles I have are directly related to this way my mind works, I find at times I almost have to go back and reconnect with others who have this particular quirk. If I don't, I start to wonder if I'm going mad. I even give myself grief over the way I justify things, thinking I'm cutting myself slack or using A.D.D. as an excuse.
Babies, your A.D.D. loved ones are certainly not making excuses. I had to remind myself of this today when my thoughts are coming at me in waves I can't keep up with. I decided to peek around in cyberland and find something different I've never read up on before. Not that the information won't be familiar, but sometimes it's nice to find it written just a tad differently, even using different design and color choices on the page. And I found one that helped me today.
Over at Psychiatry 24x7 I found just what I was looking for: a segment on adults who struggle the same way I do. And what was most interesting is the reminder that some of the things I sometimes struggle with are actually related to A.D.D. in a way I forget they are. I read:
Adults with ADHD often have negative perceptions of themselves as 'lazy,' 'stupid,' or even 'crazy.' Proper diagnosis and effective treatment can help improve self-esteem, work performance and skills, educational attainment and interpersonal relationships.
The tricky part of my inner world is that I've actually come so far in combatting these feelings and reactions. The idea of low self esteem, for example, has certainly been a part of my world. But on the other hand, it's often not at all. I think we all grow in such different paces, in parallel areas. I mean, my self-esteem is through the roof in some aspects of my life, and could use a bit of attention in others. I guess that's why we're multi-dimensional people and not just characters in a story. Nothing's cut and dry and that includes our emotions and our inter-personal challenges.
Anyway, I'm just rambling this morning as I come to grips with today's little bucket of challenges. Which are general attention span issues compounded with a vast array of thoughts flying at me over what I need to accomplish today and what I need to let go.
Good to have read that little blurb, though, to remember sometimes it's all of us and that we're not going crazy. Well, no more crazy than anybody else we know, that is!