The Top 10 List Wins Every Time: Amusing myself on other people's blogs

Dena Got An Agent!!! Just so you know. Had to get that out there, front and center.

It's a very big deal.

So all her peeps - family, friends, fans - were recently going on and on at her blog about how cool she is. How much they want to be her. And touch her and kiss her and buy her lunch and stuff. Which I'm sure I'll do soon, too. 'Cause she deserves it, that's why. But I got all punchy - apparently had been focusing a little too much for the past couple of hours, that day. (You know how too much focus kinda' tweaks with my equilibrium. Best not overdo it.) After reading the other comments, my need to entertain myself got the best of me. Had to write a Top Ten List.

While writing, it occurred to me that I hadn't written anything remotely funny here in my own blog in a very long time. Pity. Afterward it occurred to me that I spent more time whipping out that comment on Dena's blog than I spent writing my most recent post here.

What's wrong with this picture?

Only nobody said that by posting it over there I was giving up rights to my words, right? Hmm. Have Dena's blog readers unwittingly signed some "you turn over all rights to me" waiver, once they become commenters? Surely not!

So I'm gonna' post my list here, and provide a smidge of context when appropriate and/or possible.

Voila! Now I got me another blog post, with very little effort on my part! (You non-bloggers have no idea how hard it can sometimes be to come up with fresh and interesting topics. Not a complaint. In fact, it's clear we're addicts. We wouldn't give it up for the world. I'm just sayin...)

Okay. How 'bout that list already? Enjoy! And Dena? Congrats. Really. We're proud of you. All of us.

The Top 10 Reasons Dena Will Have to Keep Talking to Us Lowly Peons
Even Though She Has an Agent:

  • She uses words that start with "Fart" outside her running crowd and we don't make fun of her.
  • We like her cats. (Dena has two beloved cats. She is also a humor writer whose favorite subjects are cats.)
  • And we acknowledge that her husband is in the 99th percentile.
  • If she talks to us, we'll keep posting nice stuff in her blog's comment section. (Which matters to us narcissistic blogger types.)
  • We can cook and she can't. She's bound to get hungry and bored with Chinese takeout sooner or later.
  • Although even though we KNOW she can't cook, we'd still eat anything she'd prepared and pretend not to know (or care) that she's serving us "Ass peas."
  • She needs to make sure there are plenty of people left to ooh and aah over her no-doubt-already-in-the-planning and Very Much Cool Halloween Extravaganza.
  • She knows that as soon as her next book comes out, we'll buy copies for ourselves AND our mamas.
  • If she doesn't keep talking to us, we'll corner her and force her to listen to even more stories about the cool toddlers in our lives. (Not so much a fan of children, turns out! We'll leave it at that. I won't spend time hunting through her blog for evidence. But it's there if you felt so inclined, yourself.)
  • We don't break All Of Technology every time we come near it. She needs us.

The End. You may now return to the important stuff on your to-do list. As shall I.