Because you haven't read a good Attention Deficit Disorder rant lately

In the stretch of time between when I was a frequent (or even regular) blogger, and now, the A.D.D. didn't go away. The "disorder" is something I once wrote a great deal about, and sometimes the word back there you see in quotation marks goes in quotes and sometimes there is no need. Like today. I almost wrote "ADD took over my life" but that would be wrong. Some days don't feel like this. On some days the groove wakes up when I do, and all around me is sparklies and unicorns! Today, and lots of those other days, not so much.

Today I hit the ground running, after first pausing for some nice Gratitude. Because I so very much wish to reignite my blog and need to write, too, I decided to just write it all down for you, lovies. I feel compelled to apologize in advance. However I'm occasionally a realist and with that label comes the awareness that most people won't make it past the middle, anyway, so maybe there's no need for apologies. Read or don't read, but perhaps if you DO, you'll have another item on your personal Gratitude List: that your brain isn't wired like this.

Ready? Allow me tell you about my day so far! This Monday began with the coffee-making and putting away dishes that washed while I slept, while listening to Danielle LaPorte for inspiration, and feeding, then letting the kitty out, (No, I didn't get a cat; this is another house-sitting stint. I'll tell you about it later. Staying on track right now, see?) then I started a new play list on MOG, emailed my boyfriend making much effort to keep it (sort of) short so his head doesn't spin off his shoulders, too. Somewhere along the way I blogged in my other brand-new A.D.D.-themed blog (no link; I'll share that another time, too,) then paused to mentally kick myself for giving up on Adderall (again,) since the side-effects had become (again) sort of intolerable, since all the other healthful things apparently aren't filed under the Instant Gratification Column on the Great Master Chart In My Head. You see the quandary? Side-effects are just atrocious. And living without the thing that gives me side effects? Kind of problematic, too, turns out.

There's a pretty pressing work thing I was probably supposed to be finished with this weekend and I really have to give it my attention today, but instead, since I haven't written quite enough to reclaim my missing attention, since I'm not 100% sure where to start, I pondered, then researched, tools for ADD. But not tools like Google will render for you if you google (the verb) something like that, but a sort of chart like my mom used to make when we were kids, that let you check things off and give yourself stars and log details, combined with a place for recording exercise and supplementation and medication if you happen to be medicating, and

Oh look! A swan! No, seriously. A swan outside my window! My view these days is a lake. Just past the back yard. Sort of IN the back yard, actually. And while I've seen plenty of geese this weekend, and yesterday honeyman spotted a heron for us to marvel at, it's been days since I've seen this swan. But there it goes!

Standing over here in the corner is a roll of craft paper I bought for doing a Master Life Mind Map Activity which of course you know is going to help make sense of all this and help me sort out this month's incarnation of my life and career and side-projects that aren't quite career and are very MUCH my life, but in a more, y'know, collaborative way that includes other people. Those are fun. Although turns out they don't pay the bills.

I'm not sure I like this song that's playing quite enough to put it into the new playlist, since I can see how it's got the potential to get on my nerves one day, but today it's seriously catchy.

What isn't irritating, though, is the sound of this other band I discovered at the end of January. A trio. In fact, that's another thing that belongs on the master to-do-list I haven't made yet today. Blog About A Mad Affair. 2 1/2 months is plenty long enough to wait to tell you all about the sounds of a group I met and whose sound I so completely fell in love with and seriously DID mean to blog about months ago, too. Only now I especially need to since they're coming to Greensboro this weekend! Wanna know more about that? Well, I'll tell you more in the "real" blog post, but it can't hurt to tell you, while we're doing this Stream Of Consciousness On Steroids Thing, either. There's a music thing I help promote. In fact, it's this "music thing" that introduced me to Kris over a year ago, which is how it came to be that this weekend we are celebrating our one year anniversary by putting on yet another one of these events. The "thing" is called Showcase of Original Music and is a monthly event held every third Saturday at 900 16th Street where there's also a non-profit known as The Creative Center. It's for musicians who write their own music. Indie musicians. Independent musicians. Although that's not quite the right description. I mean, you could be signed by a big label and write your own music and we would let you play. Ha. "Let you play." We would love it if you played for us! So it's all about the original music and we do it every month, and this month? This month one of the featured artists is A Mad Affair. I love their music. Honeyman plays their CD between sets at his own gigs sometimes and so I've had extra opportunities to hear their music in the weeks since we met them, and one night I realized somebody else was playing their tunes, too, and I recognized them. Coolness factor = pretty high.

Right now, of course, I'm listening to music while I write, but it's somebody different. Channing & Quinn is the name of a duo from Boone who live in Nashville who we happened to hear at the same place where we first discovered A Mad Affair, which was at Brad & Tammy's Listening Loft, and Oh My Goodness how delightful and charming! (Channing and Quinn AND Brad and Tammy AND their gorgeous loft where people come to listen to original music, that is!)

Incidentally, it's cool to discover new music and so I'm fascinated by the song playing now, by someone called Ophelia Syndrome. While being equally annoyed that they've gotten through on a playlist I set up as ONLY Channing & Quinn. I mean, I love discovering new acts as much as the next girl, and love hearing this, too, so it all worked out for the best. Still, they kinda' snuck that one in there, didn't they?

See a theme? I grew up in what is often referred to as "a musical household" (A.D.D. household, too, actually... except that wasn't a term anybody I knew had heard of back then,) when my music-loving mother was back in college getting another degree which later led to "a master's in education with an emphasis in music" (that's how it's said, and in my head I almost hear it in one long string, like a nice musical word,) and music was everywhere and so it only makes sense that I'm in love with a musician now and the things we do together often involve music and promoting the music of others and listening to the music of fascinating, interesting, incredibly talented people. Full circle, baby.

But it wasn't about the musicians today. It was about the ADD today and how The A.D.D. Fairy is definitely driving the car just now, and how it's such a relief that my "day job" is one I can do from anywhere and at any time, which means I'll be able to stay up as late as I need to tonight to get it all done. (See what I did there? I wrote "get it all done!" As if.)

Somewhere while writing this piece (which I clearly labeled as a rant so don't complain that I didn't warn you,) I got up to pour a cup of coffee and since I made the coffee in my french press today, it was cold and when I opened the microwave door to warm my fresh cup, I found the plate of Guilty Pleasure Sweet Potato Fries I just HAD to have last night and promptly forgot about because who REALLY needs sweet potato fries, even on the weekend? Had a laugh and decided to share it with you, then while the coffee warmed it occurred to me that I hadn't yet snooped in ALL the book cases in this house and what if there might be books here geared toward the particular wiring of My People since my friend who lives in this house happens to also have such a challenge in her own life. So I went upstairs to perform said snooping and guess what I found? Not only a copy of Driven to Distraction which was the very first book I ever didn't finish reading which taught its readers all about this disorder, but also Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults, which is subtitled "Practical Help for Sufferers And Their Spouses" which is an interesting distinction since my honey doesn't get that label but you'd better believe he qualifies as someone who deserves to have a subtitle geared toward him. (Although just now when I looked up the link for you, I see that she's apparently rethought the subtitle and the words "suffer" and "spouses" no longer appear... in case that's useful information for you to know about,)

After coming back downstairs with the books that are going to magically impart their knowledge to me, just by sitting there comforting me on the table with their presence, I realized just how long this post would be and it really needed a visual companion - not up for a posting a photo of me today plus there's no way a photo could possibly convey all the chaos in my brain THIS particular day and so I HAD to stop what I was doing (yes, it's an undisciplined compulsion that comes along with this diagnosis, sometimes you have this overwhelming urge to do something And You Have To Do It Right This Minute,) and design one. Now I'm thinking it's long enough for two, but no. I don't HAVE to do yet another graphic. One will suffice.

Just now when I remembered that I hadn't yet linked to Channing and Quinn's website, I stopped writing to go get the link and had a lovely giggle when I saw that their tag line is "we music make fun" and remembered just how true that is! Can't wait to show you a video I shot of them this weekend. But it's not their turn yet, see, since I promised someone else I'd blog about them, first, and those folks are coming to my town this weekend.

And? I just saw that a client I so very much adore has written me an email, the subject line of which is "Help! Help!" and so perhaps that's my call back to a more structured reality that will center my mind long enough to help somebody, and then I can return to that aforementioned challenge of the day I haven't made much progress on.

How is it possibly 1:50pm?