So yea, I did it. After the "alternate plans" I'd made this week ended up undoing themselves this afternoon, I literally got in my car and hit the road. Decided not to fill my car with more stuff from storage, since I continue to remain on the fence about how long I'm going to want to be up here, anyway. I just said "Okay, this is it," and got on my way.
Unlike last time, my drive was sunny and clear - not a rain drop in sight. Also unlike last time, however, today I drove alone. And when I arrived here, I got my things into the house alone, and now? Yea: sitting here alone, writing to you.
Here's the thing: I know that it's a gift that I'm able to "run away" from my life's hectic pace for a while, and live up here in my grandparents' empty house. It's a gift that the house hasn't been sold, that my parents will let me come here, and that I have a portable career. It's a gift that I realized it was even time for a retreat of sorts. And? I'm lonely. There, I said it. I knew it would happen. Especially the first night. But what I know is that I'll be okay. Maybe I'll push through and the loneliness will leave me. Maybe I won't, and the remainder of my stay here will be filled with loneliness. It doesn't necessarily matter. I want to do this anyway, and chances are that if I keep my focus on the goals - being with myself and paying attention to my authentic feelings, and focusing on getting ahead (or even caught up would be nice) on some work - this time here will be a success.
Some of the photos I shot on the way turned out pretty well. And no worries - many were taken from parking lots where I just had to stop and capture the beauty of the day. The remainders were taken without focusing - just held the camera up and clicked and clicked, figuring at least a handful would have to turn out - safety trumps The Shot. I'm still wading through them all to see what I actually got. I'm including the first one I liked at the top of this post. I should have made a better mental note of where it was taken. Somewhere in Virginia, but I don't know anything beyond that. Definitely somewhere on I77, before I reached "The Tunnels." Hm. The tunnels. I loved this part of my trip, all the way during my childhood. Actually, still do. Why don't I show you one of these shots, too?
And then? I'm thinking of removing my contacts, finding that hyooge book my friend loaned me before I came up here the first time, and tucking myself into bed. So that tomorrow morning, I can wake refreshed and ready to get started on all that work I so desperately need to be doing.
It feels good to finally be here. Not Super Good - it's still cold in the house and I didn't have the right tool to get the water turned on, so I'm sort of roughing it until I can get some help with that tomorrow. But I have plenty of warm covers and socks and the heat will surely permeate the house soon enough. Which is very good...